I recently got back from a vacation in South Florida with my family, in which my husband and I flew from DC to Ft. Lauderdale. After 28 years of living and traveling, I don’t know why I still get annoyed by idiots in airports. Seriously, the most intelligent person on the planet steps foot in an airport, and suddenly he/she becomes a bumbling moron with zero sense of common decency. Here is just a snippet of the dumb things we encountered this past week, both in the Washington-Reagan National Airport and the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood Airport.
- People who wear their neck pillows around the terminal like it’s an accessory. Newsflash: you look like a tool. And people are laughing at you. See Exhibit A (note: I am not sure if this is an Elvis impersonator. My mom snapped the photo):
- Boarding zones. What is even the point? Yeah, I get the concept, but the execution is terrible, because no matter what, some moron (or family of morons, in our case) jams their way up to the front of the line, but then holds everything up because they’re a 3, and they’ve only called 1 and 2. SIT DOWN. THERE IS A SEAT FOR YOU, WE PROMISE.
- Checked bag fees. It really needs to be the other way around, and airlines need to start charging people for each additional bag you drag on board besides your one carry on and one personal item. Because you have assholes who don’t want to pay the $20 that USAirways charges, so they bring a giant rollerboard bag, a duffel AND a laptop case and take up all the overhead room.
- People who stand up and jam the aisles the second the seat belt sign goes off. Where are you going? You are in row 16, buddy. There are about 80 people who need to get off first.
- People who bring smelly food onto the plane or people who pay for one of the “snack boxes”–in this case, it was the guy next to me with a snack box. No one wants to smell your canned chicken salad that you’re smearing disgustingly on wheat crackers like you haven’t eaten in a week. My husband probably wondered why I was so interested in the smell of his t-shirt for those ten minutes.
I could write an entire post about morons in the security line, but I’ll save it for another time.
